Hubcaps, Pocket Rockets and Weiners

Ahh, Mardi Gras.

Weekend totals

Girlfriends celebrating together: 6
Bottles of champagne emptied for mimosas: 5
Bottles of rum and vodka consumed: 2
Cans of beer chugged: 35
Buckets of hurricanes drank: Lost count after the 5th round
New friends made: Too many to count
Boobs flashed: 3
Weiners shown: 5
Porta potty stops: At least 7
Persons who puked: 1
Persons having a good time: Everybody

On Deck

Pitchers and catchers report today! WOO-HOO!

T minus 45 days, 8 hours and 44 minutes until the first regular season game!

Negative Ghostrider

February 14th. Ahh, what a lovely day. The birds are chirping, people are happy, florists are busily delivering the arragements so many men agonized over (Roses? Tulips? Lilies? Red? White? A dozen?), love is in the air, it's a happy day. Well, for many people it's a happy day. Looking around the office at the few displays of affection that have already arrived, it just makes me miss the man in my life, henceforth known as Maverick, even more.

For those of you not in the know, our relationship is a long distance one. Yes, it stinks, but that's our situation. We don't know what the future holds (no one does, right?), and we're not focusing on that. Even with the distance, the relationship we have is great. We make it work quite well. But, I freely admit there's not a day that goes by that I don't wish we weren't separated.

About a week ago I was able to spend an extended weekend with Maverick. Everything about that weekend was fabulous. He took me out to incredible dinners (best Coconut Shrimp I've ever tasted). We had ice cream at a great creamery. We curled up with movies, beer, Sangria and Goldfish. He even went shopping with me (Happily, too. Can you believe that?). But, the best part of that weekend was just being able to be together without a care in the world.

I miss him terribly today. It's crazy, and almost sad, that such a commercialized, Hallmark holiday can have that effect, but it's true. I try to get through the days by not thinking about how much I wish we were together, and hearing everyone's date plans for tonight makes that impossible.

Who Does That -- Part XIII

Where - Popular, local sandwich joint.

Who - Hungry, and in a hurry, gal who dines at this particular restaurant at least once a week and obvious new girl working the cash register.

When - Lunch time on a Wednesday.

What - Hungry Gal approaches register, attempts to place her order, but when she gets two words into it is abruptly stopped by New Cash Register Girl who asks "for here or to go?"

Hungry Gal thinks "hmm, since I come here so often I know that you all usually do that at the end of the order placing process, but you're new so I'll humor you" and then experiences the following dialogue.

Hungry Gal: "To go please, and a tur..."

New Cash Register Girl: "What's your name?"

Hungry Gal: "Hera."

New Cash Register Girl: "Lullabelle?"

Hungry Gal: "Hera."

New Cash Register Girl: "Capricorn?"

Hungry Gal (surprised at the level of confusion): "Hera."

New Cash Register Girl: "And how would you spell that?"

Hungry Gal (becoming slightly irritated): "H-e-r-a. I would like a turk..."

New Cash Register Girl: "H-e-r-a?"

Hungry Gal (irritation level rising): "Yes."

New Cash Register Girl: "Okay, what would you like?"

Hungry Gal (growing more and more irritated): "A turkey and roast beef sandwich on wheat with provolone cheese, lettuce and spicy mustard, a side of potato salad and a sweet tea; to go please."

New Cash Register Girl (very slow): "A turkey and roast beef sandwich on wheat with provolone cheese, lettuce and spicy mustard, a side of potato salad and a sweet tea; to go?"

Hungry Gal (definitely irritated at this point): "Yes."

New Cash Register Girl: "Okay, your total is $6.34."

(Hungry Gal hands New Cash Register Girl two five dollar bills)

New Cash Register Girl (very, very confused accepts the currency): "Out of ten dollars?"

Hungry Gal (about to blow a fuse): "Yes, out of ten dollars."

New Cash Register Girl (even more slow): "Your change is threeee dooollllaaarrrss and siiixxxxtttyy siiiixxx cents?"

Hungry Gal (literally fuming): "Yes, honey. That's correct."

Why - Who in the hell knows? New Cash Register Girl took what should have been a forty-five second sandwich ordering process and turned into five minutes of stupidity out of Hungry Gal's life she can never get back. All she wanted was the usual turkey and roast beef sandwich with the stuff on it, some of that excellent house specialty potato salad and a glass of the best sweet tea this side of the Mason-Dixon Line. What she got instead was annoyance and a completely jacked up order; ham is not turkey, mayonnaise is not spicy mustard and cheddar cheese is not provolone.

Who does that?