Fifteen Pieces of Flair

Sometimes it's just hard to stay focused. You can only see the weekend ahead of you. You could care less about reconciling the budget report sent to you by the comptroller. You don't really want to answer the questions of your staff because you've already showed them how to do it eight times. You just want to be at your holiday weekend destination, enjoying your family, savoring that big pulled pork sandwich with homemade cole slaw from your brother the BBQ king's grill, throwing back a few Pabst Blue Ribbons, laughing hysterically at the redneck ways of your surroundings, while simultaneously loving the huge amounts of Southern hospitality. You truly understand that human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements

Case in point - the way I spent my morning, wasting time on a "popular social networking website", that allows millions of people to procrastinate the workday away, everyday, by posting useless survey bulletins like this one:

Date:	Aug 31, 2007 10:07 AM
Subject:	If they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
	Any student can write a survey about their favorite class, or their secret crush, or how nice their car is that their parents paid for. This is the survey for us that are already grown up. 1. Do you have a college degree? Yes 2. What was the amount of your last electric bill? $63 3. Do you have life insurance? Some kind of policy through work. 4. How many hours per week do you work? I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. 5. Have you ever attended a Toastmasters event? PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean? 6. What is your commute to work each day (one way)? 7 miles, 15-20 minutes depending on traffic. 7. Favorite Place for Happy Hour? Chotchkie's is pretty sweet. 8. What time do you get up in the morning for work? 7 ish 9. What is your definition of sleeping in late? 10:00 10. Do you check your cholesterol on a yearly basis? no 11. How large was your first cell phone? Medium sized 12. Does your employer provide good health insurance? It's not terrible, but not great either. 13. Did you use the internet to write a research paper? Yes 14. Have you attended a HS reunion? No 15. How many jobs have you held in your professional career? 5 16. Have you ever been fired or laid off from a job? Laid off 17. What is your favorite drink? Non-alcoholic, fountain Dr. Pepper. Liquor, Bellini or a Chambord Sour. Beer, Samuel Adams Winter, although Michelob Light is quickly making a rise on the list. 18. What is the most expensive bottle of wine that you have in your residence? Probably around $15. 19. Have you been divorced? No 20. How old were you when you stopped getting ID'd for Alcohol? I still do. 21. Favorite casino? Well, I haven't been to Vegas, but I do really like one of the riverboats here. 22. Are you happier now than when you were in high school? I was always happy, but I'm definitely happier with Maverick in my life. 23 Did you ever have Hypercolor shirts? No 24. Do you remember when Michael Jackson was black and was attracted to older people? Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just the girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid is not my son. 25. Do you remember when MTV actually played music videos? Yes 26. Have you had a will made? No 27. What music was in your cd / cassette player when you were 16? It wasn't that no-talent ass clown Michael Bolton. 28. Favorite fancy / upscale restaurant? One of the local celebrity's places. 29. How long has it been since you attended a kegger? About a year 30. Where were you when you found out about 9-11? At work. I'd just been delivered flowers because I was trying to have a birthday. 31. Do you have any children yet? No 32. Do you think the "younger crowd" will read this? Sure, why not.