Friday, January 06, 2006

I Love Kung Fu

Do you have someone in your office who just can't seem to shut up? The kind of person who no matter what the situation they always have to say something. Even if it's just to say "cool", they have to say something. Well I do and I can't stand it!

We'll call her Chief Shut the Fuck Up. Chief Shut the Fuck Up is in her mid forties, is a very short and round lady and talks about her nerdy daughter all the live long day. Not only does she talk about her daughter all the time, but she also talks about work all the freaking time. She is also not the kind of person who can just say "I need to finish this report". She must tell you all the details of the last four days worth of conversations regarding the report before she says "I need to finish this report". You know what? I don't give a shit. It's not my work. I don't need to hear all the details, and her trying to take the time to tell me is keeping me from doing my own work.

Chief Shut the Fuck Up doesn't just talk about work when we're working. If we're taking a break, she's talking about work. When we're walking to our cars after work, she's still talking about work. I'm sorry, but at 4:59 I no longer think about work. I think about the beer or glass of wine I want to have, the game I want to watch, the shoes I want to go shopping for, lying on the beach anywhere in the Caribbean, how much I can't wait to talk to the fabulous man in my life, eating some sushi, all sorts of stuff that have diddly to do with work. And I can definitely assure you that I won't be thinking about work again until tomorrow morning at about 8:30. That's right, I won't be back until at least 8:15 and I won't begin working until approximately 8:30. That's just the way we do it around here. I know she's still a little wet behind the ears, but she has been here about three months, surely she has noticed a pattern amongst the thirty other people she sees constantly.

You see, Chief Shut the Fuck Up, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. Mother... shitter... son of an... ass! Shut up for the love of god!

4 comments:

BrewCards said...

...I could set the building on fire.

Anybody that talks about work after quiting time needs a healthy beating. Everyone should know it's time to think about Dana lying on a beach in the Caribbean!

UnHoly Diver said...

That's one of the great things about not working anymore; I don't have to listen to any of that shit.

Deb said...

Hmmm....I spen a lot of time thinking about Dana on the beach in the Caribbean...with me right next to her sucking down a drink with a little umbrella in it.

Cardinal70 said...

We think of Dana and you on the beach too, Deb....