Who Does That? -- Part III

Hey! … Yes, I’m talking to you in the mini skirt, tube top and stilettos. Hang up your cell phone, put down your martini and come over here so I can teach you a little something something.

You’re in a SPORTS BAR! People didn’t come here to pick up a random piece of ass. They came here to watch the game(s). If you want to find a man to take home tonight, turn around, get back in your car and go downtown to a club. Got it? Okay, good. Now get the hell out of the way. You’re blocking the television and the waitress who is trying to give me another beer.

..........

You all know who I’m talking about; the women who pretend to be interested in sports just to try and land a man. The women who gripe because the baseball game they’re pretending to want to watch is “going into overtime.” The women who reluctantly, but with a smile, sit through a Packers game, only to complain that green and yellow just doesn’t match.

You know what; I’m not just going to pick on the wannabe sports gals here. Let’s not forget the men who know diddly squat about sports, but find a woman who does love her sports and then attempt to act all macho in an effort to impress her. Who do you think you’re fooling, Mr. I Just Called the First Base Umpire a Referee?

I swear there should be a law against this crap. Or, at the very least, some sort of entry quiz one must pass in order to be allowed in the sports bar. If you can’t answer simple questions, then too bad, you’re not getting in. Here are few examples:

A. Suicide squeeze ..... what is it?
B. Describe a hook and ladder.
C. What is a nickel back?
D. Would you sacrifice a batter with two outs?
E. Where is “the paint” on a basketball court?

I just don’t understand this pretend to be a sports gal crap. I guess if you want to go on attempting to have a relationship with someone you have to be fake with, then that’s your own decision. But I must ask .....

Who does that?